Monthly Archive: February 2012
I’m not sure this saying could be more true. Collin has gotten into the habit of going to be earlier and getting up earlier. Now, I don’t mind this too much because I’m up in the morning anyway, but I’m used to having an hour or so to myself in the. Its been an adjusment.
That is to say…. I’m on alert and on duty bright and early every single day. Collin just doesn’t stop – he’s a little boy with 968403216840351 things going through his mind all the time. He imagines, he tells stories, he plays cars and legos and wants to dig outside. He’s a do-er, which is fine by me. Ask him if he’d rather take the dog for a walk or play his Leapster and I’d put money on him wanting to go for that walk. I hope it lasts.
We’ve had bumps and bruises lately. A lot of them. I feel as though I am doomed with such a mover and a shaker. I suppose I could call it “inevitable” being the mom of a boy, but surely there are some children out there not as prone to these injuries as C seems to be. Maybe he will grow out of it?
Yesterday we got to go to a local park to take Brady for a walk and get some playground time in for Collin. It was BEAUTIFUL out for being the last week of February! C was climbing on one of the structures and fell right off and caught his leg in one of the rungs. Ouch – but he was fine, although I’m sure there will be a bruise there.
While I’ve got to be prepared for anything, yesterday’s weather had my hopes up and now I’m really, really looking forward to spring. I’ve got the fever – BAD! Once the cold is gone we’ll be on the move constantly and I will surely be working even harder from “son up to son down.”
I had a hard day yesterday.
I think as parents we go through waves of emotions. Turns out those waves may be closely tied to the amount of sleep one gets, but they are there, nonetheless. Collin has been sleeping terribly lately, worse than when he was an infant in fact, and yesterday I found myself resenting him.
I wanted to tell him to “just leave me alone” and I wanted him to feel bad and know that his waking was making me miserable. Go figure – he didn’t get it. He was none the wiser. I was grumpy and short with him, thinking that maybe if I was ugly enough he’d get the hint. FYI – 3 year olds don’t really get subtle hints.
I started the routine I do on a daily basis to get ready for my day and paused to take a deep breath. “Breathe in, breathe out,” I told myself, on the verge of tears, from a mix of exhaustion and anger. My frustration stemmed from the fact that he was waking in the middle of the night to tell us things like “I don’t want to sleep – I am bored” and that he doesn’t “like his bed anymore.” These are all fine feelings to have, but at 1am or 3am or even 4:45am I prefer he keep them to himself. And he just can’t seem to get that.
We had a quiet ride to daycare where I said goodbye with our normal hugs and kisses and let out a big sigh once back in my car alone. I knew I was acting terribly, I knew I was the adult in the situation – so what gives? The only thing I can blame is how tired I am. How zombie-like I feel. How awfully I am sleeping.
I had a conversation with a co-worker about it all and got some perspective. My feelings were valid, I was assured, and instead of getting worked up I should’ve had a real conversation with C about the issues. Which I did last night. I felt awful, beat myself up all day yesterday, and just wanted to give my little man an apologetic hug. I wanted to reassure him, I wanted to convince myself that I knew he didn’t mean to wake us up and create this exhaustion.
I got to daycare to pick him up and he was at the door waiting for me. He gave me a giant hug and smiled and warmed my heart immediately. He had no clue what had weighed on my mind all day – his concern was with who got to play with the blue truck that afternoon. I immediately felt regret. I hated myself for a second, for thinking that it was possible to feel those things towards this incredible child. How dare I?
Smiling back at him, really truly excited to see his sweet face, I felt as though a huge weight had been lifted and everything was okay.
I woke up this morning thinking about coming to write a post on a canvas project I just made for my home that I adore and really can’t wait to share. Then I thought, but wait – its Valentine’s Day – I should probably write an ode to my husband and be all cutesy with photos of my son.
But I don’t have any photos of my son this year.
And I am not feeling Valentine’s Day right now – certainly not enough for an Ode to Brian.
So, I am going to show off my latest craft, be proud of it, and wrap Valentine’s Day in there all at the same time.
If you stop by here at all, you’ve probably noticed love for Pinterest via my Monday Pinspiration posts. Well, once again I’ve been pin-spired myself and accomplished something I’ve been in search of doing for years. We have this little wall and the end of our front hallway that has been bare, except for a holiday wreath for the month of December, since we moved into our home. Ehem…. 4 years ago. Thanks to pinterest, that is the case no more!
Thanks to a stretch-wrapped canvas (purchased at 50%off), some craft paint, some scrapbook paper, and Mod Podge (another new love of mine!), I now have a decoration in this spot that I am happy to look at every day. And, for a first try, I am pretty darn happy with the results.
It is not so bright in real life, and the colors on there all match our living room area. I just printed leaf templates on the computer, cut, pasted, and Mod Podged the whole thing. Voila! I love it.
How does this tie into Valentine’s day? Well…. its red
Just kidding. Kind of.
In all seriousness, this is our 12th Valentine’s Day together. In light of our lingering troubles and the fact that we’d like to not feel poor at some point of our lives we’re not going all out this year with gifts or dinners. We know we love each other. Collin knows we love him. We all share that every day. I’m not going to go all “Hallmark Holiday” on you, because I do think it is nice to do something a little extra special, but it isn’t for us this year. And we’re okay with that.
Instead, this year we’ll be here, together, in this home we’ve created, that we are constantly trying to improve (even if it is just with *ehem* crafts made with canvas, paint and mod podge), enjoying each others’ company, laughing, and maybe even playing “spies”. I love my husband and son, and they are most definitely my favorite Valentine’s, Ever.