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Yearly Archives: 2012
Well, I haven’t updated in quite a bit, and while I have every intention of doing so, soon, today is not that day. I am off to celebrate another Christmas for the day, then hold some New Years Eve festivities tonight, so I won’t be around.
I am just stopping by to say that I hope you all have a wonderful NYE full of fun and laughter, and of course safety. Enjoy – and Happy 2013!!
I have been trying to think of a way to talk about the tragedy that happened on Friday without making it sound like it was about ME. Because it wasn’t. It was about the town of Newtown, CT, the heroic teachers that were involved, and those precious, precious babies that were taken from their families all too soon.
But then I think that it has affected me. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. It seems everywhere I go (on the internet or in real life) someone else is talking about it and I just can’t handle it right now. Between being pregnant, having a child that I am about to sign up for Kindergarten, and working in a Kindergarten room myself, how could it NOT affect me?! I hear more and more details about it all and I see the beautiful faces I get to see every day at work. I see my own son. I see his friends. It could’ve been any of them, and that scares me senseless. And now I’m tearing up again.
Last night we had a difficult night with Collin. He didn’t want to go to bed, he wanted someone to lay with him but lost the chance when he wouldn’t lay down quietly… and it escalated until he was spiraling out of control and needed to be taken down a notch. Eventually I went into his room and just said “Come here!” and hugged him and pulled him onto my lap and we rocked in the glider that still rests in the corner of his bedroom. And we hugged. And he fell asleep.
I rocked my 4.5 year old son to sleep. It was just what I needed.
It made me think of the days when I could just pull him up in my arms any time I wanted, when we could lay on the couch, when I knew he was safe with me. He doesn’t want any of that now – he is so independent. He is growing, and soon enough he’ll be going off to school. And I will have to be okay with that. But for right now, I’ll enjoy the fact that I got to rock him to sleep last night, and for the most part he is still my baby.
And I am blessed to hold him in my arms.
Do you keep lists?
I do. I have a bunch. There is always one in my head – usually of the days activities and what I need to get done.
I also have three sitting on my desk. One is a NOW, one is a SOON and one is a LATER.
There aren’t too many baby related things on these lists right now – pretty much just things that I want to get done around the house before baby. There are a few things in the SOON section for baby boy 2, but they don’t need to be done immediately.
The thing is…. we’re in the middle of December. We don’t have all that long until baby is here. It is starting to freak me out that I only want to get those baby things done “soon” because eventually soon will be too late.
I can’t wait for Christmas to get here – I am really looking forward to it, but I also know that after the holidays we can really tackle these things, like getting a new crib and putting our changing table back together. And redecorating the boys’ room.
I cannot believe how SOON we will be a family of 4.
This past Saturday we had a wonderful family day and headed north to Santa’s Village – a local amusement park themed around Christmas and Santa and his elves. It rained the entire ride up, but we got there and about 1/2 hour later the skies cleared and we had a beautiful day.
Collin is at such a perfect age for this type of thing. There are rides, shows, activities and so much to do there and he’s really into it. A lot. Its been so neat to watch his excitement grow each year we go here.
Brian was such a great sport and did many of the rides with Collin. I could go on many, but not all, and was happy to see my boy and his dad having such fun.
We got to visit with some of Santa’s reindeer. I wish you could really see how big the antlers on this one were. Massive! Collin loved feeding them apples!
I wish you could hear the laughter in the next picture. This ride was called the chimney drop and it simply took passengers up and dropped them down. Collin LOVED it. He would get to the top scream for a second then burst out into this deep belly laugh. It was hilarious. He had us all laughing!
And of course my daredevil boy went on the roller coaster a couple times.See those bright green mittens up in the air? Thats him! No hands at all. The second time they went on they sat in the very back. It was fun to watch.
And here he is. A quick shot of my boy. My ridiculously handsome boy. I love this picture. I don’t know what it is but I cannot stop looking at it. He’s looking so grown up <3
This has been one doozy of a week. We have all been really busy with something to do after each work day.
Collin and I were home on Tuesday because he was sick, so that has thrown me off.
Exhaustion has started to catch up with me from the ins and outs of each day. I do not sleep well these days and add in the occasional cat on my feet, charlie horse in my calf, or hip pain and it can be miserable. I am so thankful for the nights I do sleep well. Unfortunately sometimes this lack of good rest makes my days run together and feel so incredibly long.
I was just wishing away the days for the upcoming weekend last night (not that we’re too far away, but I just want it to be here at this point) when something incredible happened. I was on the couch watching Grey’s (my Thursday night vice. Its one of only two shows I stop and watch the night its on) when BB2 did the most amazing rolling, kicking, punching thing I’ve ever felt.
He’s laying way down low, across my belly – at least that is my best guess based on what his movements feel like. It hasn’t been easy to feel significant kicks up high because that just isn’t where he is. But yesterday the movement was so intense it made me pause. I had to stop and remember that I am going through this incredible experience and I haven’t been able to experience it at all. I have been counting the weeks, watching my belly grow, and talking about what is to come, but I haven’t been slowing down and allowing myself the time necessary to really enjoy being pregnant.
One thing I have learned, and was told, about your second and subsequent pregnancies is that you don’t get to just stop being mom to the first child. I mean, that is obvious, but when I think back to being pregnant with Collin and this pregnancy now they are so different. I do not have the luxury of putting my feet up and lounging out the couch every day after work. If there is something that needs to be done, like a load of Collin’s laundry, I cannot just push it off and pretend I’ll get to it later. Collin still needs my attention, and I need to be there for him. Its a hard balance to find and at this point we’re doing okay, but what I am having a hard time with is finding the space to appreciate this next little boy coming our way.
I need to embrace these moments because they too will go by way too fast.