We had a rough weekend around these parts. I can honestly say that I have never questioned my own parenting as much as I did over the past two days. To say Collin was difficult is an understatement, but now that Monday is here and I can reflect on it, I am glad to put this weekend in the past and learn from it.
After all, I am still learning how to be mom.
I’ve said it before and I’m sure I’ll say it again: I am not the perfect mother. I am learning as I go, every single day. I try to be a relaxed, “he’s got to learn somehow” type of parent who just lets things happen as they happen. Its worked well for us so far. We are stuck in limbo right now, though, and it is frustrating. It is frustrating for all of us, too, not just me, but for me and Brian and especially Collin.
Collin and I both have a streak of stubbornness in us, and while I am very much a “let things go” type, sometimes I just cannot, and that can get me in trouble. Recently I posted about potty training and got some great advice on how to help my little man in that department. We are still having troubles, but they are getting to be less and less, which is wonderful. However, this weekend’s dramatic flair was all in direct relation to trips to the bathroom.
At the end of a very long day Collin was doing a little dance so I asked him to go potty before we left the BBQ we were at. His response was not exactly positive, and he was not a happy camper when I brought him to the bathroom. Hitting ensued, followed by screaming, and lots of fighting. We finally got him to the car (he was still screaming, crying in hysterics, and fighting us every step of the way – it was pretty embarrassing) and buckled into his seat and we hit the road. As we started going his screams turned into yells in between which he started saying “I want to hit you mama!” over and over. This made my heart sink.
Collin isn’t a physical kid towards others. He very rarely pushes and never hits. Occasionally he’ll grab things from other kids, but for the most part he’s good with words or asking someone for help. So when his words this time were that he wanted to hit me I was surprised. I could be glad he didn’t actually hit me, but I only think that is the case because he was strapped into his seat and couldn’t reach me.
Yesterday (Sunday) we had a pretty decent morning but eventually he was doing that little dance again, so we went to the bathroom and he didn’t do anything. So (here’s that stubborn streak I was talking about…), I sat down on the floor and told him I couldn’t get up until he did something on the potty.
He wasn’t happy, I wasn’t happy, and it was hot in there. He got very upset again, started hitting me and screaming. Eventually, I looked over and his mouth was on my shoulder. He was “biting” me. I swear to you he has never once, ever, bitten someone to my knowledge. I didn’t even realize he knew that doing that could cause someone pain. I was so sad. He really didn’t hurt me, I didn’t even know what he was doing until I looked over and saw, but I am just at a loss. As I said, this behavior seems to be in correlation with the potty and I just don’t know what to do.
Last night we ended up having a great night, so not all was lost. He was in much better spirits after a good nap and some bike riding, but I can’t shake the sinking feeling I got after seeing him bite me.
I know I’ve got to take it in stride and consider myself blessed to have gotten this far without these types of incidents, but honestly that doesn’t make it sting any less. Hopefully we’ll all figure out exactly what it is we need to do to start forging ahead again! And I need to remember… we are ALL still learning.