Monthly Archive: March 2010

He would’ve been only 68.

Yesterday would’ve been my grandfather’s 68th birthday and oh I how I wish he was here to celebrate. I couldn’t even write about it yesterday because it is just so difficult. You see, this year is going to be the five year anniversary of his passing. He died from complications of leukemia and I could not miss this man any more. It isn’t possible. Five years later and I still sometimes think I hear his little whistle-through-the-teeth to get my attention, and I still hear him calling me his “number-one granddaughter” even though I know he loved us all the same.

He was an amazing man, loved by so many people it was overwhelming. His family came first, but a close second was his hometown. Italian through and through, he had so many stories about where he lived up his sleeve that even though I saw him all the time and spent countless nights there and endless summer playing at the beach they lived on, I never got tired of hearing his stories. He would drive around with the windows down and his arm hanging out just in case he saw someone he knew, so he could lean out and wave hello. He could tell you anything about the local high school team, including how even in the years before he died, everyone knew who he was because he was the best bus driver for them ever (he had long since stopped driving, though).

Poor quality, scanned in photo, sorry.

I wish every single day that he was still with us. That he could’ve been at my wedding day because he would’ve been SO proud and I’d give anything to have a dance with him. I wish that he could meet Collin, because he would be more than smitten with his first great-grandchild and I know Collin would love him so much. I wish we could still drive downtown for pizza, or to the boardwalk to watch the bridge go up and down, or just down the corner to get an ice cream cone. Gosh I miss this man so much. He had a way – you were always special to him. And he is always going to be special to me.

Happy Birthday Papa. xo

The Next Step

Where has the time gone? My time has not gone to exercise – thats for sure! I have had several conversations over the last couple days about the way I’m feeling about myself and injected into those conversations were words like “gross,” “lazy,” “fat,” “pathetic,” “unmotivated.” All negative. Yuck.

I completed the shred about a month ago, only to go on vacation after, then return to forget about all the work I did. I did not lose a lot of weight, but I did feel a lot better. Now? Not so much. So, I am still going to use the shred as a supplement, but I have a new goal. A new reason to start feeling more positive.

I am going to run a 5k.
In June.

I have always wanted to do this. It is on my list of things to do and I am so excited at the prospect of crossing it off that list! I will be following the Couch to 5K program to get myself ready. In addition to that I will occasionally do the shred, go for walks with the family, eventually start biking, and add some weights into my routine. I completed the shred and I know I can do this too. Tonight was the next step. I got on the treadmill and completed day one. Yesssss.
I am so excited – for this goal, for having some even to actually mark my success, and for feeling better and looking at things positively!

Beautiful State of Mind – The Project

Think of a woman who is beautiful. Got someone in mind? What does she look like? Are you anything like her? Anything? What makes you think she is beautiful?

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
There is a standard out there today of what makes a woman beautiful. We see it all over the place – television, movies, magazines, billboards. We are faced everyday with this idea that if we do not look like the thin, bright-eyed, long legged women in our faces at the supermarket, on the big screen, or on our tv’s, we are not beautiful. We do not make the cut. We are not good enough.
Who gets to decide that, though? It is about time we take control of that stigma and toss it out the window. Beauty comes from many places, not just the way we look. Ask a friend, or your husband or boyfriend, or your mom. We are all beautiful in one way or another. Embracing that beauty is what can empower us and conquer that precedent that we don’t measure up to.
So, what makes you beautiful? 
Rhiannon at Hey Gorgeous started this project. She has named it “Beautiful State of Mind – The Project” and she is simply trying to influence women of all walks of life to look at themselves in a new way and truly discover why each and every one of us is beautiful.
What makes me beautiful?

*my eyes *my unwavering love for my husband and son *the way I feel when I have done something nice or something to help someone else *the way I feel when my husband tells me he loves me *the way I trust too easily, want to get along with everyone, and will do absolutely anything for my loved ones

Join in! Tell us what makes you beautiful. It doesn’t have to be physical. It can be anything you want! Visit Hey Gorgeous to share your beauty!

Getting to know you – A Man’s Point of View

Its time for Getting To Know You with Keely at MannLand5. This week she handed over the reigns to Ian from The Daily Dose of Reality(a wonderful man blogger – I’ve heard), and today’s questions are from a man’s point of view. Go to MannLand5 to get the questions and link up your answers!

1 – Why did you start blogging?  I started blogging when I was pregnant with my son in order to keep family and friends updated on that, then I continued chronicling my ups and downs as a new mom. Last year when I found out I was not being rehired at the teaching job I had I really dived into blogging and started growing this little chunk of the internet of mine. 

2 – Who’s the one blog friend that you would want to meet most in “real life”? Oh wow, I don’t think there is any way possible I could pick one over the other. There are a few at the top of my list and they include Katrina, New England Girl, Raising Z, Kate, and Courtney. There are so many more I would love to sit down and lunch with, though. So many!
3 – Why are you always concerned with losing that “extra 10 pounds” when chances are your husband/boyfriend/friends tell you that you look just fine the way you are? How funny – a friend and I just had a conversation about this yesterday! It is so hard not to appreciate what your husband/boyfriend/friends tell you when they say things like that, but if I don’t feel great about myself no matter what they say I won’t be happy. It is flattering to hear those things, but what it comes down to is feeling great for yourself.

4 – What’s the one thing you wish guys could understand about you? Eh. I haven’t thought about this in a long time. The one and only guy I really need to understand me does. Thankfully.

5 – Tattoos. How many do you have and how many are visible when you wear your “everyday” clothes? None! I am a blank canvas. I must say that it has crossed my mind many times to get something small, though. I’d love something with Collin in it somehow, whether it be his name or initials or…. something.

6 – What was the best year of your life and why? Easy. 2007. The year we got married, bought our first house and the year we found out I was pregnant. My wedding was easily one of the best days of my life and of course getting pregnant was a welcome, joyful event. Buying the house was an accomplishment we were very proud of!

7 – Name three things you would do if you were a man for one day. 1. Go running wearing boxers. Yeah – I don’t understand how having things flopping around down there can be comfortable, so I’d like to check that out. Obviously I’m aware that real runners don’t actually do this, but I’ve seen plenty of guys just playing basketball or whatever letting it all loose. 2. Of course I’d pee somewhere standing up. I suppose I could do this as a woman if I invested in one of those ridiculous Go-Girl contraptions, but nah. I’ll stick to leaving that business to the male gender. 3. I’d go to the beach and walk around topless, assuming I’m a really attractive man, of course. How freeing that must be, to just take your shirt off.

 8 – What’s your alcoholic drink of choice that usually raises a few eyebrows? Probably Sex on the Beach. Now, its really not such a wild and crazy drink, but unless you’re one of my close friends, just hearing me say that is unusual-ish. That and I’m quite sure around strangers it instantly causes my cheeks to flush. (I told you, I’m a prude.) 

These were fun! Thanks to Ian and Keely. I think you should all go join in! 

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